Welcome To My So-Called “Life”…

If you haven’t figured it out yet, my name is Owel. Owel Knight. It’s pronounced just like owl, but my parents wanted to be unique. Thanks, folks. Can you imagine role call in elementary?

“Harper, Jimmy? Okay… Jackson, Eric? Right, uh… Knight, Owel?” Yea, that was a really fun time in my life. Plus everybody tries to call me Ohwel, like Owen. My response eventually became a tired old joke to the people that knew me.

“Owel… Like the bird.”

Another fact you might have yet to figure out, is that I am a vampire. Don’t believe in vampires? That’s okay. We don’t believe in you either. I know how you feel, though. I never believed in vamps myself… until I met one.

Anyways, I was turned about 5 months ago, against my will. I mean, she was so absolutely gorgeous that if she had asked me first, I probably would have said yes. But she didn’t ask. She just bit. But I’m not ready to talk about that yet. Not ready to talk about her.

So what do I want to talk about? To be honest, I’m not sure. I’m kind of breaking the rules here by announcing my vampire status anyways, but I just don’t care. They aren’t around here anymore.

Nice right? Turn me into a fucking vampire, and then take off, leaving me to fend for myself. In Canada. During the winter. Not that I’m going to freeze to death. I guess that goes in the win column. So what have I been doing on my own for the last few months?

Trying to learn how to be a vampire.

Seriously, it doesn’t just happen. It’s generally taught to you by your maker, or your clan. Well I don’t have a clan, and my maker took off a while ago, as I think I already mentioned. So I’m left to fumble my way through my new “unlife”. Good times.

Yea, I may be a little bitter, but you try to be Mr. Positive when the only friend you have is a goth gamer from down the hall who wants you to turn him into a vampire, and rarely gets through a conversation without offering himself up as dinner. Seth’s a weird guy. We’ll talk more about him later.

He’s actually the reason I’m writing this blog. He says I need to learn to be more social if I’m going to get into the whole vampire thing. After watching a ridiculous amount of terrible vamp movies, I’m not really sure what the whole vampire thing is, or if I want to be a part of it.

It sure isn’t like Twilight. I wish I turned into sparkly diamonds when the sun hit me, but that’s just not the case. A little too bubble gum princess pop for reality. I don’t burst into flames, either, that’s just a glorified special effects driven death scene movies like to exploit. Oh it doesn’t feel good, and my exposure time is severly limited, but I can sort of handle the sun. It’s kind of like a really bad sunburn that keeps getting worse, until my skin dries and flakes, along with the rest of my body.

So to summarize, Sun = Bad slow burning death, not “Oh boo hoo, I sparkle. I’m a hideous 4 carat monster.” Teeny bopper bullshit.

So this blog will set things straight. What I’ve learned, or am still learning. And I guess whatever… adventures I have out on the night.

That’s about it for the night. I’m hungry, and if I don’t get out of here soon Seth will come knocking, and I don’t think I can deal with him right now.

See you at dusk…

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